Good question!   Let us look at what Scripture has to say about this whole matter.

First of all, let us look at what that storehouse of wisdom, the book of Proverbs, has to say on this matter.  Proverbs 26:4 tells us: “Do not answer a fool according to his folly, Lest you also be like him.”    In the following verse we read: “Answer a fool according to his folly, Lest he be wise in his own eyes.”

A dictionary definition of a fool is a person who acts unwisely or imprudently; a silly person.  In the past, many have seen this as a contradiction but those who have been members of the Church of God have had this explained on many occasions.   However, it is worth reiterating the value and meaning of these two verses.

First of all, there is no contradiction; otherwise, the Bible itself could not be trusted.   The Bible does not contain contradictions and there are always answers if one allows the Bible to interpret itself.

We should ask God in prayer to help us, should we ever be asked or confronted about our beliefs.  1 Peter 3:15 states: “But sanctify the Lord God in your hearts, and always be ready to give a defense to everyone who asks you a reason for the hope that is in you, with meekness and fear.”  When anyone asks us about our beliefs, a quick prayer to God, asking for His help in discerning what and how much to say, will certainly help.

We should ask for this discernment as to whether the questioner is asking out of politeness, is generally interested or is looking for a chance to argue and debate.  Our assessment then determines what our approach should be.

Proverbs 26:4 warns us against engaging with a fool on his own terms, because we could be seen as foolish as he is, which would not be a good example of Christian behaviour.   A fool despises wisdom and instruction (Proverbs 1:7); fools hate knowledge (Proverbs 1:22); fools die for lack of wisdom (Proverbs 10:21); the folly of fools is deceit (Proverbs 14:8); fools mock at sin (Proverbs 14:9); and, perhaps most revealingly of all, the way of a fool is right in his own eyes (Proverbs 12:15).   When we ascertain that someone is trying to draw us into a discussion that he wants on his terms, we could well be falling into the trap of answering him according to his folly.   We would do well to recall what Jesus said in Matthew 7:6 that we are not to cast our “pearls before swine”.

In Proverbs 26:5 we read that we should answer “a fool according to his folly, Lest he be wise in his own eyes.”   At times a fool has to be addressed when such a person may be thoroughly convinced of the correctness of his argument, even though he is completely wrong.   In such a case we should show him accurately where he is in error—not as a “put down”, but to make him think about his erroneous stance.

As one commentator put it: “In short, in negligible issues we should just ignore fools, but in issues that matter, they must be dealt with so that credence will not be given to what they say.”

Another area of consideration is to find out what a word, phrase or statement means, as this can vary from person to person.   For example, you could be asked if you were homophobic.   What you may understand by that phrase may be different to the next person.   A fairly standard definition of homophobia is “the hatred or fear of homosexuals – that is, lesbians and gay men – sometimes leading to acts of violence and expressions of hostility.”   However, as we know, if the biblical understanding of this behaviour is quoted, it can be regarded as hate speech.   Therefore, it is important to find out what the other person understands what “homophobia” means to them.   We can then know how to answer accordingly, showing that a true Christian must love the person but hate the immoral action.

We may be called a bigot but, again, what does that word mean to the other person?   Being bigoted means, according to the Oxford Dictionary of English, as “having or revealing an obstinate belief in the superiority of one’s own opinions and a prejudiced intolerance of the opinions of others.”   As our understanding is based on the Word of God, we must be firm in our convictions without being objectionable.   Finding out the other person’s understanding of the word will be helpful in forming a response.

Finding out where the other person is coming from may diffuse potentially difficult situations.  Alan Greenspan once commented humourously: “I know you think you understand what you thought I said but I’m not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant.”  We need to ensure that both parties have the same understanding of the word or phrase, so that any response cannot be misunderstood.

Another way of dealing with any enquiry is to find out why the question is asked.  Sometimes that can lead to finding out that the enquirer may just have been asking a question without really wanting an answer.

Let us remember that Jesus answered in the wisest way possible because he could ascertain the purpose and intent of the one who was to be answered – or otherwise.   In Luke 20:1-8, Jesus had His authority questioned and He refused to answer; in Mark 12:13-17, the Pharisees tried to trap Jesus about the paying of taxes to Caesar, and He answered indirectly in a very unexpected way.   In these two instances (and there are others) Jesus decided not to answer directly because of the attitude and intent of the questioners.

Wherever we can, we should use Scripture to answer any religious question that may come our way.   Let us look at how Jesus dealt with Satan in exactly this way, as recorded in Matthew 4:1-3:  “Then Jesus was led up by the Spirit into the wilderness to be tempted by the devil.  And when He had fasted forty days and forty nights, afterward He was hungry.  Now when the tempter came to Him, he said, ‘If You are the Son of God, command that these stones become bread.’”

Jesus did not argue and debate with Satan but answered him from Scripture (verse 4): “But He answered and said, ‘It is written, “Man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word that proceeds from the mouth of God”’” (quoting from Deuteronomy 8:3).

The adversary then tried another approach, as we read in verses 5-6: “Then the devil took Him up into the holy city, set Him on the pinnacle of the temple, and said to Him, ‘If You are the Son of God, throw Yourself down. For it is written: “He shall give His angels charge over you,” and, “In their hands they shall bear you up, Lest you dash your foot against a stone.”’” Here, Satan quotes Scripture too (citing Psalm 91:11-12), but he totally twists the meaning of the passage.

Again, Jesus answered from Scripture (Matthew 4:7): “Jesus said to him, ‘It is written again, “You shall not tempt (better “test”) the Lord your God”’” (quoting from Deuteronomy 6:16 in the correct context and with the intended meaning).

In verses 8-9 we read: “Again, the devil took Him up on an exceedingly high mountain, and showed Him all the kingdoms of the world and their glory.  And he said to Him, ‘All these things I will give You if You will fall down and worship me.’”

Then Jesus said to him (Matthew 4:10): “Away with you, Satan! For it is written, ‘You shall worship the Lord your God, and Him only you shall serve’” (quoting from Deuteronomy 6:13). Satan had been defeated three times by Jesus by the use of Scripture. “Then the devil left Him, and behold, angels came and ministered to Him” (verse 11).

We have seen in this brief Q&A that we should discern whether or not to answer and, in addition, it may be advisable to ask what is meant by the question or the definition of a word or phrase if this could be contentious.  Further, answering with Scripture as Jesus did, is always the best way to respond so long as it is appropriate, correctly used and in context.

We should use wisdom at all times and be gentle and friendly and not provocative or confrontational at all; Proverbs 15:1 tells us that “A soft answer turns away wrath.”   Taking that approach will enable us to do “all things decently and in order” (1 Corinthians 14:40).

Lead Writer: Brian Gale (United Kingdom)

Before we look at the Bible’s straightforward answers to this subject, let us first of all look at the current state of affairs in society today. There is no doubt that there are those who espouse a very liberal approach, perhaps none more so than those who are involved with the gender agenda which includes many sexual variations and perversions.

In an article in the Brighton Argus newspaper (UK) on 28th January 2016, Brighton school children were asked to choose from a list of terms to describe their gender.  The selection list included: “Agender,” “All genders,” “Androgynous,” “Bi-gender,” “Boy,” “Demi-boy,” “Demi-girl,” “Female,” “Gender fluid,” “Gender nonconforming,” “Genderqueer,” “Girl,” “In the middle of boy and girl,” “Intersex,” “Male,” “Non-binary,” “Not sure,” “Others (please state),” “Rather not say,” “Tomboy,” “Trans-boy,” “Trans-girl,” Tri-gender,” “Young man” and “Young woman.”

On the 20^th April 2016, the Daily Mail reported that “the proposed national survey was linked from the website of the Children’s Commissioner for England, Anne Longfield, and was forwarded to some schools by local councils. It later emerged that the survey had been withdrawn. Anyway it was only a draft.”

You can be assured that in the current climate of “diversity and anything goes,” this will appear again at some time in the future as the liberal agenda increases its momentum as we plunge headlong through a moral crisis that will only be solved by the return of Jesus Christ.

Christian Institute Deputy Director Simon Calvert maintains that “there are simply two sexes — not 20-plus genders — and that the survey only incited confusion and jesting. [Giving children so many options will spur answers] across the spectrum — not least from kids who want to make fun of the whole thing,” Calvert contends. “But for some children, it will be profoundly confusing to find out that there are adults who don’t seem to know that boys are boys and girls are girls. The British Christian leader insists that the distinctions given in the Bible about human sexuality are those given by God to safeguard them from falling into all types of deviant attitudes, behaviors, and lifestyles.”

In our Update 686 on May 1^st 2015 we published the following:

“America’s Descent into the Abyss of Sexual Perversion.

“CNN wrote on April 23:

“It’s only April, but 2015 may be remembered as the year the term ‘transgender’ fully entered mainstream consciousness.  In January, President Obama condemned the persecution of ‘people who are lesbian, gay, bisexual or transgender,’ becoming the first president to utter the word in a State of the Union address…

“Transgender is an umbrella term for people whose gender identity — their internal, personal sense of being a man or a woman — differs from what’s typically associated with their sex at birth. Some transgender people alter their bodies through hormones and or surgery, although many don’t…”

In another article on the same subject, we commented that “the very concept of ‘transgender’ is an abomination in the eyes of God.”

In our Update 751 on September 2^nd 2016, we quoted a Newsmax report under the headline, “Transgender Bathroom ‘Rights’ Upheld by Bush-Appointed Judge,” part of which stated:

“Bathroom access has become a flashpoint in the legal and cultural battle over transgender rights in the United States.  An estimated 0.6 percent of U.S. adults identify as transgender…”

In his StandingWatch programme of 16^th September 2016 entitled “America’s Persecution of Churches”, Mr Norbert Link repeated this percentage of 0.6 percent people – but look at the pressure from such a small group!

An updated article, written in the Wall Street Journal on May 13, 2016, entitled “Transgender Surgery Isn’t the Solution – A drastic physical change doesn’t address underlying psycho-social troubles,” Dr Paul McHugh, former psychiatrist in chief at Johns Hopkins Hospital in Baltimore, USA, examined the matter and here are a few excerpts from that article:

“….policy makers and the media are doing no favors either to the public or the transgendered by treating their confusions as a right in need of defending rather than as a mental disorder that deserves understanding, treatment and prevention. This intensely felt sense of being transgendered constitutes a mental disorder in two respects. The first is that the idea of sex misalignment is simply mistaken—it does not correspond with physical reality. The second is that it can lead to grim psychological outcomes.

“For the transgendered, this argument holds that one’s feeling of ‘gender’ is a conscious, subjective sense that, being in one’s mind, cannot be questioned by others. The individual often seeks not just society’s tolerance of this ‘personal truth’ but affirmation of it. Here rests the support for ‘transgender equality,’ the demands for government payment for medical and surgical treatments, and for access to all sex-based public roles and privileges.

“You won’t hear it from those championing transgender equality, but controlled and follow-up studies reveal fundamental problems with this movement. When children who reported transgender feelings were tracked without medical or surgical treatment at both Vanderbilt University and London’s Portman Clinic, 70%-80% of them spontaneously lost those feelings. Some 25% did have persisting feelings; what differentiates those individuals remains to be discerned.

“At the heart of the problem is confusion over the nature of the transgendered. ‘Sex change’ is biologically impossible. People who undergo sex-reassignment surgery do not change from men to women or vice versa. Rather, they become feminized men or masculinized women. Claiming that this is [a] civil-rights matter and encouraging surgical intervention is in reality to collaborate with and promote a mental disorder.”

You can read the article in its entirety at http://www.wsj.com/articles/paul-mchugh-transgender-surgery-isnt-the-solution-1402615120

In short, Dr McHugh opined that the transgender issue was a mental disorder.   It seems that, like many other sexual orientations, it may have become a fashionable thing to do.   We must never underestimate the power of peer pressure.

The Bible is very clear on this matter.   In Genesis 1:27-28, we read the following:

^“So God created man in His own image; in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them.  Then God blessed them, and God said to them, ‘Be fruitful and multiply; fill the earth and subdue it; have dominion over the fish of the sea, over the birds of the air, and over every living thing that moves on the earth.’”

God created male and female – two genders with no other variation – and told them to be fruitful and multiply.   That cannot happen with a number of the wrong sexual practices that exist today.   In Genesis 5:2 we read confirmation of the instruction in Genesis 1:27-28: “He created them male and female, and blessed them and called them Mankind in the day they were created.”

Jesus Christ also confirmed this God-ordained order as we read in Matthew 19:4-6: “And He answered and said to them, ‘Have you not read that He who made them at the beginning “made them male and female,” and said, “For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh”?   So then, they are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate.’”

One commentator online wrote: “My gender is part of my created identity; it is God’s plan for my life. It is not fluid or changeable. It is fixed. Just as a dog cannot be changed into a cat or a fish into a bird, a man cannot be changed into a woman, or vice versa, because gender is a fundamental aspect of creation.”

In Deuteronomy 22:5 we read: “A woman shall not wear anything that pertains to a man, nor shall a man put on a woman’s garment, for all who do so are an abomination to the Lord your God.” An abomination is a thing that causes disgust or loathing.  Synonyms are: atrocity, disgrace, horror, obscenity, outrage, curse, torment, evil, crime, monstrosity, violation. God does not mince His words.

God talks about His wrath on unrighteousness in Romans 1:24-32: “Therefore God also gave them up to uncleanness, in the lusts of their hearts, to dishonor their bodies among themselves, who exchanged the truth of God for the lie, and worshiped and served the creature rather than the Creator, who is blessed forever. Amen.   For this reason God gave them up to vile passions. For even their women exchanged the natural use for what is against nature. Likewise also the men, leaving the natural use of the woman, burned in their lust for one another, men with men committing what is shameful, and receiving in themselves the penalty of their error which was due.  And even as they did not like to retain God in their knowledge, God gave them over to a debased mind, to do those things which are not fitting;  being filled with all unrighteousness, sexual immorality, wickedness, covetousness, maliciousness; full of envy, murder, strife, deceit, evil-mindedness; they are whisperers, backbiters, haters of God, violent, proud, boasters, inventors of evil things, disobedient to parents, undiscerning, untrustworthy, unloving, unforgiving, unmerciful; who, knowing the righteous judgment of God, that those who practice such things are deserving of death, not only do the same but also approve of those who practice them.”

There is a lot in this passage but it can be very briefly summarised by saying that those who practice any of these sins are deserving of death along with those who approve of such practices.   We have been warned!

In 1 Corinthians 6:9-11 is further admonition for those who have ears to hear: “Do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived. Neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor homosexuals, nor sodomites, nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners will inherit the kingdom of God. And such were some of you. But you were washed, but you were sanctified, but you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus and by the Spirit of our God.”

Sexual sins are clearly mentioned here and those involved with transgender issues had better be careful as we have seen from this and other passages. There is only one way of proper sexual conduct, and that is between a man and a woman who are married to each other, and God allows no other variation.

What we always have to remember is that Satan is the author of confusion, but 1 Corinthians 14:33 states: “For God is not the author of confusion but of peace, as in all the churches of the saints.” Having to select from 20 plus definitions to define gender is confusion especially for the young mind, but God has made the whole process simple by creating man and woman with no other acceptable variations.

As we race towards the end of this age, Satan will become more and more accusatory and dangerous as we read in Revelation 12:9-12: “So the great dragon was cast out, that serpent of old, called the Devil and Satan, who deceives the whole world; he was cast to the earth, and his angels were cast out with him. Then I heard a loud voice saying in heaven, ‘Now salvation, and strength, and the kingdom of our God, and the power of His Christ have come, for the accuser of our brethren, who accused them before our God day and night, has been cast down.  And they overcame him by the blood of the Lamb and by the word of their testimony, and they did not love their lives to the death. Therefore rejoice, O heavens, and you who dwell in them! Woe to the inhabitants of the earth and the sea! For the devil has come down to you, having great wrath, because he knows that he has a short time.’”

It is a sad fact that today the biblical approach is one that is scorned and disregarded, which is very dangerous to do. We should have love and concern for those who are engaged in these practices, loving the sinner but hating the sin. God instructs us in His way which is always for our own good and we ignore it at our peril.   Transgender practices, along with many other sexual sins, are not to be part of any true Christian’s life.   Such practices will not be allowed in the Kingdom of God and that should be enough proof for anyone with an open mind and a willing heart.

Lead Writer: Brian Gale (United Kingdom)

If we search the Scriptures, we will find that depending on the circumstances, God endorses both being married and being single.   Let us look briefly at what He has to say about each state.

In Genesis 2:18 we read: “And the Lord God said, ‘It is not good that man should be alone; I will make him a helper comparable to him.’”   In verses 21-24 we further read: “And the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall on Adam, and he slept; and He took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh in its place. Then the rib which the Lord God had taken from man He made into a woman, and He brought her to the man.  And Adam said: ‘This is now bone of my bones And flesh of my flesh; She shall be called Woman, Because she was taken out of Man. Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.’”

And so, in the second chapter of the Bible, we see that marriage was instituted between a man and a woman.  There is no other combination approved by God’s Word in spite of modern-day secular legislation.

In Unger’s Bible Dictionary under the heading “Marriage” – Origin (page 817), we read the following:  “Marriage is a divine institution designed to form a permanent union between man and woman that they might be helpful to one another (Genesis 2:18).   Moses presents it as the deepest corporeal and spiritual unity of man and woman, and monogamy as the form of marriage ordained by God (Genesis 2:24; cf Matthew 19:5).   Without the marital tie, the inhabitants of this world would have been a mixed multitude.   The family circle, family instruction, and parental love and care would have been altogether unknown.”

There are many instructions to “go forth and multiply,” and this was within the institution of marriage (see for example Genesis 9:1 to Noah and his sons after the flood; 9:7; 35:11; 47:27, etc).   Population was needed after the flood, and the nation Israel would be raised up through whom the Saviour, Jesus Christ, would be born from the tribe of Judah (see Genesis 49:10).

We should also note the references to Christ and the Church.   In Ephesians 5:22-33, instruction is given to both husbands and wives, and in verse 32 we read: “This is a great mystery, but I speak concerning Christ and the church.”   Revelation 19:7 sheds more light on this relationship: “Let us be glad and rejoice and give Him glory, for the marriage of the Lamb has come, and His wife (the church) has made herself ready.”

In our booklet “Is That in the Bible? – The Mysteries of the Book of Revelation!,” a number of comments are made about this relationship, as follows:

“As we can see from Ephesians 5:31–32, Paul is addressing here the mystery of the relationship between Christ and His Church.  He emphasizes that those who are called must come out of the ways of this world in order to be joined with Christ.  Christ must be continuously living within them (1 John 2:15–17; Romans 12:2; Galatians 2:20). Paul also shows that the physical institution of marriage is pointing at a spiritual union between God and man. It is pointing at a spiritual marriage between Christ and His Church” (page 115)…

“Jesus spoke of Himself as the ‘bridegroom’ (Luke 5:34–35).When Jesus was on this earth, He taught that He would be taken away and that no ‘marriage’ would be consummated at that time.

“Note, as well, that Jesus gave a parable indicating that He, as the bridegroom, would return (compare Matthew 25:1–13). In this story, Jesus began His teaching with these very important words: ‘The kingdom of heaven shall be LIKENED to ten virgins who took their lamps and went out to meet the bridegroom’ (Matthew 25:1).

“Jesus presented this example of bridegroom and virgins (that is, the bride) as a means of instructing His Church to be ready for His return. Most importantly, the Church was to remain vigilant and not let God’s Holy Spirit (the “oil” for their lamps) fade out of their lives! He would only marry those who were ready.

“John the Baptist also referred to Jesus as the bridegroom (compare John 3:29). In his statement, John attested to the fact that Jesus was the Christ, and that he (John) was in a position of service, as if he were the friend in a marriage ceremony. This is, of course, just an analogy, because John will be in the first resurrection and therefore part of the bride.

“In a deeply symbolic series of statements, Paul instructs married members of the Church to love their mates (compare Ephesians 5:22–33). He draws on the selfless example of Christ’s love for His Church to make his point. Then, he mentions a profound truth about marriage, calling it ‘a great mystery’ (verse 32).

“Why is it a mystery? Because it is a truth hidden in the plan of God—hidden to those not called by God! Yet, God’s Church understands this mystery: Jesus Christ will marry His Church (compare, especially, verses 25–27)! Note what Paul also stated in this regard: ‘For I am jealous for you with godly jealousy. For I have betrothed you to one husband, that I may present you as a chaste virgin to Christ’ (2 Corinthians 11:2)” (pages 119-120)…

“The fact remains that Jesus Christ will marry His Church!  We find this specifically promised in Revelation 19. Verse 7 states: ‘Let us be glad and rejoice and give Him glory, for the marriage of the Lamb has come, and His wife has made herself ready.’ Understand that the wife spoken of here is comprised of ALL of the saints—ALL of those counted WORTHY for the first resurrection. Christians who live just before Christ’s return, also must be prepared—just as the parable of the ten virgins in Matthew 25 so clearly teaches.

“Carefully consider what is stated in Revelation 19:8: ‘And to her it was granted to be arrayed in fine linen, clean and bright, for the fine linen is THE RIGHTEOUS ACTS of the saints.’ The focus for who will be in this wedding ceremony centers on those who are righteous—that is, those who obey God! Here we gain insight to the fact that Christ will marry those who live righteous lives—something only possible through having the help of God’s Holy Spirit!” (page 121)…

“Speaking to Israel of a future time—a time when God will establish His Kingdom on the earth: ‘“And it shall be, IN THAT DAY,’ Says the LORD, “That you will call Me ‘My Husband…’”’ (Hosea 2:16). Then, in verses 19–20, we find that God promises to join Israel to Himself in an unending marriage: ‘I WILL BETROTH YOU TO ME FOREVER; Yes, I will betroth you to Me In righteousness and justice, In lovingkindness and mercy; I will betroth you to Me in faithfulness, And you shall know the LORD.’ It is important to realize that God will ‘betroth’ Israel in the future—AFTER Christ’s return and the FIRST resurrection. This shows that the ‘bride’ cannot only include those in the first resurrection” (pages 121/122).

Does this mean that marriage is the only acceptable state to God?   Does God’s command from ancient times “to go forth and multiply” still apply today for every human being?   Is every Christian obligated to follow through on this ancient instruction?   Many men and women today may prefer to stay single for all sorts of reasons. While many of those reasons might be based on selfishness and improper motives, Paul addresses some valid concerns starting in 1 Corinthians 7:25.   This was written at a time of persecution of the church, but the principles still apply today.  In verse 32, Paul writes: “He who is unmarried cares for the things that belong to the Lord – how he may please the Lord.”

We read that Christ, when He was here on earth, was not married; and neither was John the Baptist. On the other hand, most of the apostles were married. As a Rabbi taught under Gamaliel, Paul (then known as Saul) seemed to have been married before his conversion, but some feel that his wife died. In any event, he was unmarried in his later life (1 Corinthians 7:8). He did not have the extra responsibilities, problems and stresses that can come with marriage and a family.   He was able to devote his life to doing the Work of God. Had he been married, perhaps he might not have been so prolific in his writings and in his work of preaching the gospel?  This does not mean that the apostles Peter and James—just to give a couple of examples—were in any way less productive because they were married. We read that Peter’s wife accompanied him on his travels and was undoubtedly a great help to him. However, Paul judged that in his case, it was better for him not to get married, while also emphasizing that it is not a sin to marry.

Jesus explained that some will not marry for several valid reasons, one of which is for the Kingdom of God’s sake (Matthew 19:10-12). As one observer remarked: “It is not a sin to remain single, even for your entire life. The most important thing in life is, not finding a mate and having children, but serving God.”

Of course, it would be physically impossible for everyone to be married anyway.   Quoting from the “United Nations Statistics Division (in 2010)”, they state the following: “In today’s world, there are 57 million more men than women. This surplus of men is concentrated in the youngest age groups and steadily diminishes until it disappears at about age 50, thereafter becoming a surplus of women owing to their longer life expectancy. A surplus of men characterizes the world’s most populous countries – China and India – hence the large surplus of men worldwide.   In most other countries, there are more women than men.”

The original question is, “Married or single – which is the ideal state?”   And the answer is simple.   It is that state which is best for the individual with neither necessarily better than the other.   They both offer opportunities for the people of God Who wants all of His people to be happy, service-orientated and fulfilled, whether they are married or single.

Lead Writer: Brian Gale (United Kingdom)